Quotes, stutters, slips and other stupid shit I have said…

OK, so this wasn’t mine but I guess we can consider it a guest submission… either way, it was too funny to not write about!

So the other day I was at work (Yes, still subway hell) and my boss walks in carrying a box of paper.   The conversation went something like this:

Boss:  Hey Gina, come here for a second

Gina: What do you want I’m busy!

Boss:  So I know I am not wimpy or anything but this box of paper is really heavy.

Gina:  Yeah so, put it down?

Boss: No seriously, hold it for a second.

Gina:  No I don’t want to, it’s heavy!

Boss: No seriously, hold this for a second!

Gina:  Fine, yeah its heavy, can I go finish panning bread now?

Boss: Yeah but (as he points to the number printed on the box that I am now holding) I know I’m not that wimpy but this says its only 20 pounds.  Does this box feel like only 20 pounds?

Gina:  No… it’s like 50!  Jerry, OMG!  20 Pounds is the weight of the paper, not the weight of the paper in the box.  Like cardstock vs. cheap crappy fax machine paper?!?  Duh!!!

Boss: (Picture light bulb going off here!)  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… That makes more sense.

Apparently the man has never bought card stock paper for a resume or any crafts…  good times!

Nom… Nom… Nom…

OK… so I am seriously the most fickle person I know and its really been a long time since I was truly impressed with anything I have put in my mouth.  (get your minds out of the gutter!)

I love food but I haven’t really savored anything lately.  Probably the reason for the weight loss, I’m just not interested in eating unless it tastes really good and nothing tastes really good so I eat my 6″ sub then scrounge something easy for dinner and thats it.

Today, one of the vendors that works with us at Subway brought me some smoked ribs and brisket.  OMG!!!  Seriously!!!

She won second place at a cook off with them this weekend.  If they were this good 3 days after the fact, can you imagine what they tasted like coming off the grill?  Nom Nom Nom!!!   Yummy!!!

Quotes, stutters, slips and other stupid shit I have said…

At work today I was complaining about my new pants.  They have lots of little snaps all over the pockets.  2 on the back and 2 on the thighs… We have a lot of tight spaces that we have to squeeze around throughout the day and my snaps keep snagging on shit.   I was explaining how I like my yoga pants better cause I can slide through shit.  Shoop Swoop,   right through small spaces… like a ninja!  Like a 240 pound ninja!!!  :0)

My boss thought that was pretty funny…

Quotes, stutters, slips and other stupid shit I have said…

Drinking heavily the other night at a friends house… on my 8th or so mai tai… Trying to adjust my hair in the reflection of the window from across the room, I wanted a little umbrella in my clip. A friend was standing between me and the window when she realized she was possibly blocking my view she moved quickly to the side and apologized immediately.

I exclaimed, “Don’t worry… I’m not wearing my glasses anyway, I can’t see a thing!” (I often take my glasses off when I am adjusting my hair.)

I then reached up to my face and touched my glasses and started to laugh… “Wait!!! I’m wearing my glasses!”

Quotes, stutters, slips and other stupid shit I have said…

So for those of you who read my blog occasionally, you may have noticed I have a few theme things I sometimes go back to like the henna or life’s lists…  I think this new one should be funny!  I say some of the dumbest things sometimes!  I think most of my friends keep me around for the entertainment value so… in an effort to continue to entertain my faithful readers, I will start writing them down.

If anybody has a better title idea or a good category theme idea please comment!

“Are you always such a frat boy?  Cause seriously!!! I am starting to feel concern for the shortcomings of your penis size here!”

Henna… Shits getting’ serious!!!

I have so much to say… I am not even sure where to start!

Call it a leap of faith… I dropped $200 bucks today on a booth space for First Thursday. It seems like things are really falling into place for me. If this wasn’t meant to be then shit! I give up!!!

• People like my work. I have people asking for my tattoos!
• Money just showed up this week… a check I wasn’t expecting.
• The ideas haven’t stopped, unlike other styles I have picked up… I get inspired, do a few great pieces then the ideas seem to stop. It’s been over 7 months now since I have started doing henna and I just keep getting better!
• I tattooed a girl who does modeling. My intention was to get a great showpiece; today in my email she sent me pics she had done from a professional photographer showcasing my tattoos. I now have professional photos of my work for basically FREE!
• Did I mention… people are asking for my tattoos!!!

I need to have a plan… set goals… make a list!

My henna is really working out for me. I haven’t done much to promote it but I have promised myself that I would start working on the business. It looks like this is really going to happen for me!

www.myspace.com/pdxmodernhenna