Super Dragon finds me attractive!

So, this story is long overdue!

I was working overtime at the call center for a few weeks in a row and I found myself off early one evening. I had been chatting with this really great guy online for a week or so on occasion and I thought we had a pretty good connection. He apparently had gone to school with my x-husband and well… we both thought he was a douche bag! HAHA!!!

So anyway, I’m working crazy hours and I’m totally exhausted but I have been dyin to meet this guy in person so I walk out the door of my work and head for home. On the drive home, I dial his # and ask him over for a movie at my place. Like I said, we had built a pretty good rapport and I felt pretty comfortable with him coming over to my place.

So I’m on the phone with this guy, I give him my address and we start chatting a bit. He mentions to me that he is “In full combat gear” and that he is headed home from his job. I don’t remember him saying anything about bein a police officer while we were chatting and further more, why is he calling his uniform “combat gear”? He says he wants to go home and change and asks me if his car will be ok downtown.

Now… We had just had this conversation online the night earlier so I am starting to put two and two together that the man who I thought I was talking to isn’t the guy that I had intended on inviting over. Randomly, they drive the same car but I am pretty sure I had just made a huge mistake and invited a complete stranger to my house. I must have been interested at some point in time though because I HATE talking on the phone and will only enter your # into my phone if I really like you…

So I make an executive decision and decide that I am ok with him coming over, I get my crap together, pick up a bit and wait for him to show up.

Haha!!!

While I am waiting, I check out his myspace to see exactly who it is that is coming to my house. (I asked him for it while he was still on the phone with me.) I do remember talking to this guy and it’s not a big deal. He is supposedly a wrestler. That would make sence… Portland police officer by day, crazy wrestler guy by night. His character was supposedly “superdragon”. One of those fully masked wrestlers that don’t ever speak. It didn’t seem that unreasonable; Portland has a huge fighting/wrestling scene. I don’t know anything about it, nor do I care to. I occasionally email back and forth with Evan Tanner but only because I met him while I owned my restaurant and well… to be honest with you, it seems sometimes like Evan needs a good friend to keep him in their thoughts every now and then. But that’s another story another time… So Portland does have a big wrestling scene.

So when “Superdragon” showed up to my house, I just about died laughing, or died trying to hold in my laughter.

Here’s the deal, I am a volunteer event planner for an online social group. I meet people every week; all different types of people. Not everybody I meet is somebody I would want to spend the rest of my life with but that does not mean that I am above spending a few hours with him or her getting to know them. I figured, I am not sensing “dangerous” from this guy. He’s not anything like he presented himself online (big surprise) but I can at least sit through a movie with him so we go upstairs. It will be over soon enough and I figured I would just make the best of it.

OK!!! When you think WWE wrestler, you think… 6’ 250 pound muscle bound meat head right? This guy was more like 5’5” overweight with a limp! Now I know nothing about wrestling but I do know that there is NO WAY this guy is a serious wrestler. What is worse is that he is telling me he’s the #1 independent wrestler in the US right now. This little 5’5” fat limpy guy…

It’s too much to bear! I decide that I am gonna mess with him a bit. He has with him, in a velvet bag, (Yeah seriously… he brought this up to my apartment) a gold plated champion wrestling belt and a leather mask. He told me that he had just come from a photo shoot that paid $5,000 and that he didn’t want to leave the stuff in the car cause the belt was worth at least that much. I mentioned that it was kinda weird that he didn’t take it in the house when he went home to change out of his “combat gear”. Surprisingly he didn’t flinch at all. Although I would imagine it was easy to lie considering he couldn’t really make eye contact when he spoke to me anyway.

So I continue to mess with him, he actually got a bit nervous when I said I was gonna Google him. Super Dragon that is… All this information came up like the real Super Dragon’s name, his actual height. It is on Wikipedia. The dude just insisted that whoever wrote the Wiki had the facts wrong and that the height thing was there cause that’s how tall he is when he wears his wrestling boots. Now again, I don’t claim to know anything about wrestling but I do know shoes and I know for a fact that wrestling shoes are soft, kinda like ballet slippers. They do not have any lift in the sole at all!

This guy is like… blatantly lying and just digging himself deeper and deeper. At this point in time I can’t believe that he hasn’t just excused himself for some reason but no… he’s staying… and it gets better!

So were sitting on my couch watching some movie, I don’t even remember what it was.

He puts his mask over his hand, looks away (cause remember, he can’t seem to make eye contact with me when he speaks to me.) waves the mask in my face and says,

”Super Dragon doesn’t speak; but he finds you attractive!”

yeah… so for Christmas if anybody feels up to it… this is what I want on a T-Shirt:

At any rate… he starts to complain that his knee hurts from landing on it the other day and asks for an ice pack. We go back and forth about me not wanting to give him one cause I don’t want him to try and throw ice down my shirt. (I think he was showing me a tattoo or something and I put my cold beer on his back… yeah… yeah, I shouldn’t have encouraged him.) Anyway, so I finally gave in and gave him the ice, he started trying to hold it on my chest; I wrestled him away and made him leave. It was quick and painless. I stood up and firmly said, “That’s it! I’m done! I can’t do this anymore. The date is over! GET OUT!”

Strangely he is surprised, apologizes and asks to see me again. I rushed him out of my apartment and locked the door.

I then called the real Super dragons business partner and let him know that some freak in Portland was impersonating him.

A few days later the dude contacted me on myspace. I told him that I knew that he wasn’t really super dragon. He still insisted that he was and that the stuff on the Internet was just a marketing thing and that he was really Super Dragon. I just blocked him and I haven’t heard from him since!

:0)

 

Oh, and as far as the other guy goes… I confessed to him what had happened. He didn’t seem amused and we never spoke again. Dammit!

Shortly after that I made an excel log to keep track of my online dating. Kinda technical and geeky I know but at the time I was dating more for research for a book I wanted to write about “online dating”. Thus this blog which has morphed into something different entirely. At any rate, I learned not to dial numbers without verifying who I was speaking to after that!

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