Blind dates and Birth defects…
You would think that there should be some unspoken rules to blind dating or dating off the Internet.
It’s kind of funny, it’s a classic story to hear guys talking about how girls lie about what they look like on blind dates. You know the story… the “She has a great personality” date! A guy gets set up with a girl off a pic 10 years old or 50 pounds ago and he’s pissed! (As he should be!) It happens all the time! Pictures are blurry or just plain flattering, then you meet in person and it’s like the evil twin that was hit with an ugly stick walks in the door. Guys are brutal when that happens to them. But nobody really ever talks about it when it’s the guy who was the one doing the lying!
Is it just me or does anybody else think that MAJOR birth defects should be disclosed prior to meeting? (That and probably smoking habits, although I blame myself for not remembering to ask my potential dates about that one.) It’s soooo unfair! I always make sure that my potential date recognizes that I am a size 26! Not that my weight is a birth defect but I do want to make sure he is OK with that and that he could be attracted to me before I show up. If anything, it makes sure I am not wasting his time or mine and lessons the chance of being rejected. Everybody has different ideas of what they find attractive. Why try and date somebody that I know from the get-go wouldn’t be attracted to me. Duh!!! It applies the same way in reverse with men. Why try dating a girl that wouldn’t be attracted to you? It’s better just to lay all your cards out on the table first!
So ya… My x-husband had a physical problem that had a major affect our lives together. He had a childhood disease that required major surgery on his hip twice. He couldn’t swing dace, he couldn’t run, he walked with a limp, we had to buy a single story house cause there was always the potential that stairs would be a challenge some day… I’m not that shallow, I loved him anyway. We dealt with the issue together.
I would like to believe that if I met somebody else that had some physical issue that I would be able to look past it, if the person was right for me that is… I do have some passions in life like swing dancing and walking on the beach. It would be impossible for me to be happy with somebody in a wheelchair but I don’t think that makes me shallow.
So anyway… I have had 2 Internet dates now that have showed up with some physical issues and I don’t think it was very fair of them to go into the date without telling me first!
The first guy had a paralyzed arm from, I believe, the elbow down. His hand looked misshapen sort of like a mannequin’s hand would look like. He never did talk about it. I can’t say he specifically tried to hide it from me but he didn’t exactly bring it up either. He was a nice guy but that issue would affect the swing dancing. It was his left hand and that’s the hand a lead uses to twirl the girl. I will not give up my dancing for another guy! There are tons of other things that not having use of both hands would affect too. What about sex? Anyway, he was also much more overweight that how he looked in his pics. At any rate, I was so upset about the major omissions of info that I really did not want to take the time to get to know him. Just to clarify, the arm thing was not my only issue… from my first impression of him; he was totally not my type. I invited him on a “safety date” (a date to a public event with lots of people) because I was sorta sure that he wouldn’t be anyway and I was right. He did however end up joining the group and I hear has made some friends and done some fun stuff. Like I said, he was a nice guy… I’m glad it worked out for him. He still shoulda told me!
The next date happened a couple of nights ago and didn’t work out nearly as well. This guy looked something like this: I googled sunken chest… Apparently it’s an actual medical condition, the guy just wasn’t really really skinny.
The problem however, was that it was a hot tub date! It took everything in my power to not stare! You know your gonna have to take your shirt off if your first date is sitting in a hot tub, why the hell would you not warn a girl? Seriously! But again, that wasn’t my major problem with him. He was boring, could not carry on a conversation past listening to me babble. I tried to ask him questions about his hobbies and his answers were vague and mostly one-liners. He smoked, didn’t have a car, was going to school, lived with family instead of on his own and yeah… for a 27 year old man he may as well of been 19 years old. Hell he coulda been, it’s not the first time a guy has lied to me about his age. Either way… NOT Interested!!!
So you ask… why do I keep going on these crazy dates? Because it’s entertaining of course! What else would I have to write about if I didn’t? LOL! More shopping lists maybe? :0)
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Hmmm. Guess Stephen Hawking is out of the ‘potential pool’ for you then. Interesting conversations but no romantic dances or strolls on the beach. His loss.
I do know that he could handle the ‘hot tub thing’ though…he’s in the bottom of mine as I write this. Digs it - but keeps complaining when i drop prime rib pieces down his breathing/feeding tube. Wait, maybe he’s just saying thanks. Can’t undersatnd a thing he says. Damn defective geniuses….
Quantum.