Quotes, stutters, slips and other stupid shit I have said…
OK, so this wasn’t mine but I guess we can consider it a guest submission… either way, it was too funny to not write about!
So the other day I was at work (Yes, still subway hell) and my boss walks in carrying a box of paper. The conversation went something like this:
Boss: Hey Gina, come here for a second
Gina: What do you want I’m busy!
Boss: So I know I am not wimpy or anything but this box of paper is really heavy.
Gina: Yeah so, put it down?
Boss: No seriously, hold it for a second.
Gina: No I don’t want to, it’s heavy!
Boss: No seriously, hold this for a second!
Gina: Fine, yeah its heavy, can I go finish panning bread now?
Boss: Yeah but (as he points to the number printed on the box that I am now holding) I know I’m not that wimpy but this says its only 20 pounds. Does this box feel like only 20 pounds?
Gina: No… it’s like 50! Jerry, OMG! 20 Pounds is the weight of the paper, not the weight of the paper in the box. Like cardstock vs. cheap crappy fax machine paper?!? Duh!!!
Boss: (Picture light bulb going off here!) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… That makes more sense.
Apparently the man has never bought card stock paper for a resume or any crafts… good times!
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WOW! Seriously? I’ve got something that weighs 20lbs… in my .. oh wait.. that’s nothing like 20lb cardstock. This brings back fond memories of Pump Up the Volume, the sleeper motion picture that starred one Christian Slater? Was that his real name? That just sounded funny saying his name.. made me brain fart for a second. Anyways, synopsis of the movie, angry, angsty teen apathetic about suburban life and his parent’s moving, so much so that he starts a pirate radio station. Shy and withdrawn by day, he calls himself Happy Harry Hardon by night. In said movie, he has many a ranting dialogue with a killer soundtrack playing in the back.. however, he asks one caller who’s seen her brother masturbating..”is it bigger then a baby’s arm?” Flashbacks to yesteryear can be good..I’m going to busy myself tonight with a viewing of Pump. Later!